Bag #1 - It's pretty dark down here.
Bag #2 - Shut up, wussy. You'd think you hadn't seen daylight in a month.
Bag #1 - Actually, I haven't. I have been stuck in this dingy Air Canada hangar for the last four weeks. You would think someone would come and check on us.
Bag #2 - What are you, afraid of the dark?
Bag #1 - No, it's just that I have all this shit inside of me, and I'm feeling a little compressed. I'm really stuffed you know. I feel like I'm going to burst if they don't unzip me.
Bag #2 - Ya, sometime I think our owners don't realize we need to go to the bathroom.
Bag #3 (in the distance) - Pipe down over there you two.
Bag #1 - Hey, shut up asshole, you haven't been labeled "missing" for a month you know. Just wait until your down here for a few weeks. Sure, most of us spend a day or two down here, and then off back home. Well a bag can only stand so much - quite literally, I'm going to tip over if they don't lean me up against something soon. My wheels can't take this.
Bag #2 - I have an idea. Next time the service attendant comes in, we'll get one of the bags on the shelf to jump him, knock him out, and get the keys. If I can get my wheels going, and the exit is slanted, I'll be on my way to freedom.
Bag #3 - Oh shut up. What about the rest of us who don't have wheels?
Bag #1 - Look man, it is every bag for himself around here.
Man (coming in the door, hollering back to his co-worker) - ya, I want a double cheeseburger and a large coke....Ok, now where is that purple rucksack.
Bag #2 (whispering to himself) - He's calling me. This could be it. Freedom.
Bag #1 (whispering to bag #2) - you better not leave without me. You make him remember that I'm down here too. You said we were in this together. I didn't ride in the ass of that plane at -60 degrees to miss out now.
Bag #2 - Once I'm out I'll send for help. I'll let everyone know on the outside what is going on in here. The world has to know.
Random bags - good luck man....say hi to that football I had inside me....hope you get to go somewhere warm.....remember us when your gone.
The preceding was a fictionalized account. Any semblance to any real missing luggage is purely coincidental. However, I DID GET MY LUGGAGE BACK!!! One month away, my bags are probably a little put off, so I have to reassure them that I'll never leave them at the airport again with Air Canada staff.