20 July 2007

How to Use Big Words

Now that you know how to recognize big words, we can move on to bigger and better things – namely, how to use big words. Using big words may seem like a daunting task, but in fact, there are a number of tips that you can use to help ease those burdens. I now present to you

Richard Deneault guide to using big words

1. Read
…..A LOT.

2. Go to University
post secondary schools are full of people using big words.

Ok, I now what you are saying. “Um, Richard, I already went to University and I am still wearing the dunce cap when it comes to palavering with pizzazz.” Well, perhaps the following rules with be a little more pragmatic.

3. Copy from others.
Quite simply, act like a pirate. The key is to be more like Jack Sparrow (sexy and confident in your choice of words) and less like Black beard the pirate (forgettable and evil, probably drooled while speaking).

4. Word of the day
These tips really do work! Try to learn one big word a day. Use it that day to achieve maximum happiness.

5. Don't park the porsche in shanty town.
Most importantly, do NOT simply insert a big word into a sentence of otherwise little words. Remember that big words hunt in packs. Sticking a big word in an otherwise mundane sentence will make you stick out like a sore thumb. Dress up the sentence with a few big words and people will never know the difference.

6. Never explain big words.
Believe me, when you use big words correctly, their very use should be enough do dissuade others from asking you their meaning. Their place in the sentence will implicitly give their meaning. Should your readers discover that you have made an error, either claim temporary blindness or lie and say that you were testing them and that they passed J