30 January 2007

Sticky situation

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Executives at Elmer's Products, Inc. are all smiles today. For those of you who do not follow the coagulating giant, Elmer's are the makers of such fine glue as Krazy Glue. Following today's news that Kentucky Derby winner Barbaro would be put down, I would be willing to bet that upper management at Elmer's were quick to come up with a marketing add for "Kentucky Glue" or "Derby Glue". Slogan: "Derby glue, skip the mint julip and go right to sniffing the hard stuff."

The story of Barbaro's demise is a perfect example of our society's fascination with both little people (i.e. jockeys) and with gambling. Ya, that's right I said it. I mean, frankly, did you get a look at this horse in the crazy contraption they put him in to fix his broken ankle? (or was it leg, I hardly care)

Everything about this story is morbidly fascinating to the mainstream media. For instance, I heard that "Barbaro will be euthanized today". The word euthanize comes from the Greek for good death. The only thing good about this story is that on an otherwise slow news day, the media get to look sympathetic by claiming how unfortunate it is that a horse be slaughtered. Another story: "Barbaro's death brings disease laminitis into focus". This story states that Barbaro's death shines a spotlight on a health problem that kills thousands of horses every year." Ya, its called letting men, albeit very small men, ride around on horses while whipping them to race faster and faster, all in the hopes of a financial windfall. Here's an idea, make more Wizard of Oz movies to give the jockeys something to do rather than having them ride around on horses. You can find other things to do with your money. Pay a stripper or something, thats a pretty wild ride.


Anonymous said...

By your heading, I thought that you were going to imply that Elmer's was going to introduce a new, chic, expensive glue, made from the hooves of euthanized race horses. Would probably have "fastest drying time" somewhere on the label.

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