A prayer for Owen Meany - John Irving

Date: May 23, 2007

Recommendation: Go deep in the count, work the pitcher, and you shall be rewarded with a 3-2 fastball down the center of the plate.

Although I have shared this graphical representation with those at book club, I am much too enamored with it not to show it again here - the y-axis is enjoyment, and the x-axis is number of pages. In blue is Book Club's first book, Midnight's Children, and in red is A Prayer for Owen Meany.

Many literate people consider A Prayer for Owen Meany their favorite book of all time. In wondering why this might be, I have decided to tabulate a comparison between Owen Meany - a Christ-like figure - and Jesus, THE Christ.

1. Book
In a fight with Irving, you can't waste 50 pages to beget anything
Winner: Meany

2. Author
God vs. Irving, since I want in at the pearly gates, better go with the big cheese.
Winner: Jesus

3. Parents
Mary and Joseph are not overly exciting, but at least Jesus seemed to like them; Owen didn't even acknowledge his parents!
Winner: Jesus

4. Career
From everything we know, Jesus was not much of a carpenter, whereas Owen could wield a pretty mean diamond saw!
Winner: Meany

5. Miracles
Not much competition here folks.
Winner: Jesus

6. Lives saved
Meany saves a handful of Vietnamese children; Jesus died to save all humanity - but since non-believers will be thrown in the depths of hell (to get orthodox on their ass), we have to deduct this from Jesus, so, a little too close to call.
Winner: Tie

7. Nightlife
Owen Meany managed to score with Hester the Molester; Dan Brown aside, what action did Jesus ever get?
Winner: Meany

8. Athletics
Jesus walked on water; Owen walked to first base, except that one time, and we know how that one turned out.
Winner: Jesus

9. Academics
Meany was accepted to both Harvard and Yale on full scholarship; Jesus went wandered the world in his formative learning years, from 12 to 30 years (he may as well have gone to York University).
Winner: Meany

10. Conclusion
Too close to call, with 4 categories each and 1 tie. We'll have to go to one last category to figure this one out.

11. Followers
Jesus had the apostles, Owen Meany had John Wheelwright - sorry little guy but 12 virgins beat 1 virgin.
Winner: Jesus, but oh so close!